Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
