I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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