I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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