Jerry, you need to find god
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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