I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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