Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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