; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize