Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
