So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
