The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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