If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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