I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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