This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
