I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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