lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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