Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
