Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
