i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
