I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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