HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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