Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
