It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
