just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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