Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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