does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize