Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
this will be a night to untag.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
