then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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