its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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