i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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