ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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