We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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