I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
