Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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