My brain says no but my pants say off.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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