Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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