I think i peed on brittanys purse
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
