I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
