woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
