I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
