We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
