I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
