my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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