Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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