Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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