You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
