Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
