woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
