i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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