my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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