I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
