i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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