Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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