Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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