just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
