Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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