puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize