Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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