kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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