was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize