wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
