that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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